As many of my friends know, these last couple of years have been a pretty wild ride for our family. We started last year with the loss of my sister, spent the rest of the year--and part of this--fighting for custody of her daughter, and less than a week after that fight was won, my husband lost his job.
We've spent much of this year with his employment situation being, well, fluid, I guess. And in a lot of ways, that has been really fun for us. We've seen the Hub more this year than we have for a long time. He's been really relaxed and has helped us really connect as a family. So on the one hand, its been really great.
On the other hand,.
Its really freaking stressful not knowing if a job is going to open up or not. And if so, when? And will it make him happy? And will we really be able to stay here, like we say is very important to us?
The auction on his company comes next week. By October 2nd, he'll be unemployed again. This is fine and we've known its coming. Its not a shock and its not going to ruin our lives. He'll have unemployment if he needs. He won't have medical insurance, which is a problem I'm working on now.
I worry about his happiness. I worry about our financial stability. I worry that I may be the only one with an income, which isn't what I signed up for. I worry that when he does find something, it won't pay anywhere near as well and we'll have a big lifestyle change.
I know that I can't influence anything that's going to happen. I also know that stressing over it isn't going to change any of it, or make the time go any quicker. I know if the time did go quicker, I'd be missing out on some things (like Cooper's shiner the other night!) and I don't want to do that.
I'm actually not saying that I want anything to be different at this point. I am however looking forward to seeing what's around the corner for us. And when it gets here, I wonder how much stability it'll really lend to our lives. Is there such a thing as stability in a life or in a family or is everything except love just in a constant state of flux?
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I think it's a constant state of flux. I really haven't had consistency in my life since I met Jeff so I totally understand where you're coming from. I think we all hope for stability and certainty but life just isn't always graciouse that way. My motto lately is what doesn't kill me makes me stronger and as long as we're together as a family that's really all that matters. The other stuff will fall into place. Easier said than done though huh. If you ever need someone to drink a glass of wine or chop firewood with you have my number!
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